The first great sorrow of William and Harry

Obsessed might be a bit of a stretch, but particularly interested in the British royal family and especially in Harry, William and Diana, you could cautiously say.

I devoured the book Lady in Waiting by the lady-in-waiting of Princess Margaret. She may be a hundred times noble, but the principle ‘we don’t kiss and tell’ she happily skips at 87, so we hear how The Queen cleans up after picnics with plastic gloves, how rude Nancy Reagan was, and how sweet Lady Diana sat by her son’s bed who was waiting for death with AIDS. And also how her husband suddenly left her without any inheritance. Anyway, an intriguing family history.

She also talks about Barbara Barnes, the supernanny who always watched over her children and who, when her children went to boarding school, moved on to William and Harry. Prince Charles knew her well, so her glowing reference about this nanny secured her the job.

Anne Glenconner, the author of this book, later goes on to tell that Barbara Barnes helps her to bring her son Christopher out of a coma. Barbara is then ‘done’ with Harry and William and comes together with her every quarter hour to treat the comatose Christopher.

Curious as I am, I decided to Google this Barbara Barnes. Is she still alive? Is she now taking care of a famous ‘offspring’ of some princess? And what did I stumble upon? A rather sad story. That Barbara Barnes came to William and Harry and ruled the household like Vatican City. Strictly and according to her rules. It seems that Diana was already quite adrift and was in the grip of her bulimia and heartache and seemed to be losing focus on the family. A gap that was filled by Barbara Barnes, who the boys affectionately called Baba, and who became a surrogate mother for the princes. She was always there for the boys. Went on vacations with them and taught them to talk, read, and write, everything. Instead of being very happy about that, it gnawed at Diana. Something I can somewhat understand, because as a mother you naturally want to be irreplaceable.

When Barbara Barnes was once invited by her former boss Anne Glenconner to a party that she and her husband organized on the island of Mustique where many celebrities were and where Barbara Barnes was photographed with celebrities, Diana had had enough. In her eyes, Barbara Barnes was probably someone who took her children away from her and who also loved glamorous parties a lot. From her perspective, I can somewhat imagine it, but having read Anne Glenconner's book, I know that this is the sweetest and most dedicated nanny imaginable (except for mine, by the way, but that's beside the point). And what makes it quite sad is that Diana demanded that this nanny leave from one moment to the next. She was not allowed to say goodbye to the boys or send them a card. Nothing, zero, nada.

This laid the first layer of callus on their soul. A layer that would later become much thicker. But Diana couldn't know that then.