Breadcrumbing: the new red flag in online dating

Some time ago, I listed a number of red flags for you to pay attention to during your online search for the ideal match. Of course, with the main goal of helping you find true love. Despite the fact that I haven't been single for a while, I like to stay updated on the latest dating trends to keep you informed, so I am back again.

Well, now I have discovered a new red flag that I would like to warn my dear singles about. This one might even be worse than ‘ghosting’, where you are completely ignored by your match. Okay, imagine the following situation: you have a nice match who sends you all sorts of flirty messages and clearly shows interest. This makes you excited and you assume that you will be able to secure that date in the short term. But then it suddenly changes: the contact decreases and your match takes hours to respond. Appointments are also postponed or even completely avoided. Not good.

Does this scenario sound familiar? Then it might just be that you are dealing with a breadcrumber. Oh yes, that's what this phenomenon is called: ‘breadcrumbing’. The term literally means ‘to breadcrumb’ and means that your match drops small crumbs of interest. In other words: you are being led on. Well, we certainly are not waiting for that.

But what is the motive of the breadcrumber? Very simple: attention. Breadcrumbers constantly need validation and seek it from others through online dating apps. They feel better from the attention of all their different matches without actually intending to do anything with it. Quite sad actually and especially very selfish, as they do not consider the feelings of others. The self-image of the narcissistic breadcrumber must be continuously fed, that is central.

How do you best deal with breadcrumbers? There are actually two options: either break off contact immediately or confront the other about their behavior. In the latter case, you give the breadcrumber a chance to work on themselves, but you have to be in the mood for that. And whether it is worthwhile? Well, you never really know. In any case, it is not an option to tolerate that someone plays with your feelings (and precious online dating time).