6 friends you lose after your twenty-fifth
My mother always said that friendships come and go, to which I always thought: that will be fine. But by now I understand exactly what she means, because my group of friends has halved over the past two years. By the way, I'm not very sad about that, as I find maintaining friendships difficult enough. That's why I'm actually happy that I now only invest in friendships that I truly find important.
By the way, I'm not the only one in this, as a study from the University of Oxford shows that your circle of friends significantly shrinks on average after your twenty-fifth birthday. At twenty-five, you have the most friends; consider this a ‘friendship peak’, which can only decline significantly from that moment on. But don't be afraid: your best friends remain, so that's just really great.
But who are exactly the people you let go after your twenty-fifth? These are usually the following friends:
1. The friend from the past
Think of your BFF from elementary or high school. You probably wore the same necklaces back then and it initially feels like high treason to let each other go. But despite the beautiful past you share, you have taken different paths and have therefore completely grown apart. You absolutely still love each other, but no longer feel a deep connection. You can just be at peace with that, because you wish each other the very best, you just both aren't waiting to forcefully drink coffee together anymore, so don't do that anymore. A waste of your time.
2. The friend who got into a relationship
The friend who disappears from the radar as soon as she gets a partner is unfortunately a well-known phenomenon. A common occurrence: appointments are canceled more and more often, and when she decides to come once, that damn partner always has to be there. An absolute red flag, if you ask me. You may rightly wonder to what extent this friend ever valued your friendship. Time to say goodbye.
3. The career tiger
It may sound harsh, but this ‘friend’ is way too busy for your friendship. Or better said: the friendship has no priority for her. She lives for her work and has the idea that you have nothing else to do, so when she has a gap in her overflowing schedule, it should just work out for you. Doesn't fit? Then she won't have time for another two months. Well, you obviously have nothing to gain from this kind of friends.
4. The friend from your studies
For a moment you thought that one study friend was for life. After all, you always sat next to each other hungover in the lecture halls and grabbed a coffee together every break. You always did group projects and assignments with her. She made your study time much more enjoyable, yet this friendship turned out to be mainly based on school experiences. You can guess: the further away from your diploma, the more the friendship fades.
5. The friend from your part-time job
Just like with your studies, you usually had one buddy during your part-time job. On the first day of work, you just picked someone and that became your partner in crime. With her, you complained about your boss and the lousy salary you received. Were you scheduled together? Then you knew it would be one big party that day. Yet you never saw her again after you finally started looking for a ‘grown-up job’. You had promised each other to stay in touch, but apparently this friendship was not written in the stars.
6. The negative energy sucker
This is a figure you find hard to get rid of. For a long time, you keep hanging out with her because you feel obligated to ‘help’ her. This type always has problems and difficulties that she lays on your plate. For a long time, you can handle this just fine, until you notice that you are taking on all her negative energy after you have seen each other. Besides the fact that this friend has all sorts of issues herself, she is also very judgmental about everything and anything. This makes it almost impossible to have a deep conversation with her. As painful as it is, in the end, you really pull the plug on this friendship because you simply can't handle it anymore.
