Just about Special Forces VIPS

Oh yes, it’s that time again: Special Forces episode 3 is on Videoland and of course I’m right there to see if everyone can hold it together this episode. That’s also the only active thing I’m doing in the lead-up to this new episode, the rest of the day I’ll probably spend horizontally and in the fetal position to recover from the misery that will undoubtedly come again. Are you watching how our favorite tough guys are doing this week?

1. Do you also have the feeling that these people have been on the road for ten days? I think this is actually day 2.5. So sad.

2. Fabrizio’s mental breakdown is literally me at every gym class where I was probably only asked if I wanted to jump over a rope: ‘Nothing works today.’ The traumas.

3. The big difference: my tears were often rewarded with a ‘it’s okay, sweetheart’ from an overstressed gym teacher who didn’t want to be there any more than I did, but Fabrizio gets an extra assignment for free. My heart rate is already in overdrive.

4. Erik thinks the group’s pace is still a bit too lazy and ‘is going to step on the gas from now on’. Damn Erik, aren’t we already going 250 within the built-up area? Just calm down, if only for my blood pressure.
 
5. This whole series is one big flashback to high school for me. There must have been a report meeting at some point where I, just like Fabrizio, got all minuses for action, intelligence, teamwork, and perseverance. It’s okay, Fabriz, we have other talents.

6. Okay, I’ve made up my mind: I want to be Liza when I grow up. So pretty. So strong. So cool.

7. Staff member Erik wins the game of asking the obvious with his ‘What is it like to be you?’ Well, at this moment a bit less cozy, Eer, what did you want to hear?

8. Just sign me up for the Koen Pieter van Dijk fan club: this man has gained a threefold deeper dimension since his participation and I can only say that I have so much admiration for him. Period.

9. And once again he proves that we are destined to become BFFs: ‘I’m in my eighth mental breakdown.’ This is me every Monday morning at 10:30.

10. Pff, can Erik tone it down a bit? Why is it always: ‘We want to see them apply the learned drills in a disciplined manner and that they continue to contribute to the team’ and never: ‘Just sit down for a moment, I’ll pour you a bubbly’? I just find that a shame.

11. Go away, they were allowed to sleep through the night. From 1:30 to 6:00, in other words, the clock round in Special Forces land.

12. Fortunately, there’s a task every week that I could actually accomplish. This week: write down your mental challenges. Nothing that doesn’t happen daily in my group chats at moments when the oat milk runs out at the local coffee shop. Mentally challenged is then an understatement.

13. Erik: ‘Under stress, access to the thinking part of your brain is blocked.’ This will definitely be my newest excuse when I forget to pay a Tikkie for cocktails I drank three weeks ago. Sorry, it wasn’t me, it was the stress.

14. Furthermore, the staff members want to know if the participants are able to process information when they are completely physically exhausted. Sander, darling, I’m not even able to process information when I’ve slept for over nine hours. Just stop it now.

15. When you think you’ve had it all, Sander thinks it might be fun to go ‘group stress swimming’. I didn’t come up with this term myself, but it seriously reminds me of the stress level of going for swimming diploma A and then having to swim through the hole. The panic.

16. Haha, the way I would never: Danny goes out and runs up a mountain after handing in his band with that six hundred kilo bag on his back. Don’t call me. No band = no speed. Where’s the Uber?

I had already predicted it: palpitations, sweaty hands, hyperventilation. Not with the candidates, no, they’ll manage. But I’m almost having a panic attack seeing what these people have to endure and it’s only episode 3. I’m glad it’s still a week until the next episode. Gives me time to get some calming substances at home. Until then!

Image: SHOTBYSUD