Body & Mind

This is what a narcissist always does during an argument

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Narcissism seems to be a buzzword, but it is anything but ‘fun’. Because a narcissist as a partner or friend? That is incredibly heavy.

Narcissists are much more common than you think. They come in degrees: you have the extreme variants, but you can also be a less obvious narcissist. And it is precisely those who are dangerous for your self-esteem.

This is what narcissists say during an argument
A narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by a very self-assured character. They love arguments because they always want to be right. They are stubborn and listen little to others. After all, they are the center around which the world revolves. The strange thing is: they will always provoke you. Incite. Challenge. This is a clear signal that you are dealing with a narcissist. You don't want to have a discussion at all, but you get dragged into it.

The narcissist thinks of themselves as better than others – and also better than you are. You are actually worth very little to them. You notice this in an argument: you hear nothing but ugly things. ‘You can't do that without me!’, is something a narcissist will snap during a quarrel. ‘Without me, you are nowhere’. A narcissist mainly admires themselves.

Although it is a difficult disorder that does not always stand out, you can pay attention to these kinds of phrases during the bickering. Does someone treat you as an equal or not? Is the other selfish and can they not empathize well with your world, needs, and life? There is a good chance that you have a (mild) narcissist in front of you.

This is what narcissists always do during an argument:

  1. Shifting blame: Narcissists often avoid responsibility for their actions and shift the blame onto others. They are great. Others are stupid.
  2. Denial of own mistakes: A narcissist is unlikely to quickly admit that they have made mistakes. They can minimize, deny, or rationalize their own behavior.
  3. Manipulation: Narcissists are often skilled in manipulation. They may try to manipulate your feelings or make you doubt your own opinions or desires. It makes you insecure. You start to doubt what you want in life.
  4. Playing the victim: Sometimes narcissists will take on the role of victim to elicit sympathy. They may claim to be the victim of your behavior, even if this is not the case. You feel bad about something you did while it is actually not a big deal.
  5. Intimidating language: Some narcissists may use intimidation or verbal violence to gain control during an argument. They may shout, insult, or threaten to get their way.
  6. Arrogance and sense of superiority: Narcissists often have an exaggerated self-worth and sense of superiority. They may look down on others and try to belittle you in any way.
  7. Emphasizing inadequacy: A narcissist may try to make you believe that you are not good enough or that you are not meeting their expectations to hide their own insecurities.