I don't want to be a master of ceremonies

One of the advantages of getting older is that you have dealt with certain situations and have chopped wood. Do you have a little problem or panic situation? Bring it on. I will think along about a solution.

Question: “My girlfriend has only one dream and that is to get married. She is the type that has been making mood boards of her dream wedding on Pinterest for years. Even when she didn't have a relationship, she was that type. So of course I was thrilled for her when she met J, who is in every way her ideal man and he even went down on one knee and proposed to her. All nice and lovely and great, I couldn't be happier for her, but that was until the moment she invited me for a dinner in her favorite restaurant. I thought she would ask me to be a witness, but it turned into the role of master of ceremonies. And I really, really, really don't want that. My girlfriend is extremely precise and fickle and I just got a new job as a producer at a daily TV show. I understand that she wants me as the master of ceremonies because organizing is my profession, but I don't have time for it and especially don't feel like it. But how do I say that?”

May: “What a difficult situation. It seems terrible to me to be asked to be a master of ceremonies. It won't happen to me quickly because I'm not a control freak, so every bride to be will steer clear of me in that regard. I understand that your girlfriend is asking you for this task and maybe she also thinks she would offend you if she asked someone else. If organizing is your middle name... But I totally feel you. As a master of ceremonies, you can only lose. The wedding day itself is a day full of tasks and tension for you and if things go wrong, it's your fault.

But well, what to do? I would, no matter how difficult, have the conversation with your girlfriend and ask her what exactly she expects from her master of ceremonies. Together, I would clearly outline where your responsibilities end and where those of the wedding planner (I hope she has one) begin. Tell her that this day is so important to her that you would find it terrible if it goes wrong and that because of your new job you might not be fully available. So it works if you get precisely formulated tasks like contacting the guests for the wedding and coordinating the photos and the seating arrangement and the speech schedule on the day itself, but otherwise you would prefer to outsource the task to someone else who has the attention and time for it that she deserves at this moment. I understand that this will be a terribly difficult conversation, but it ultimately concerns her day and if you can't give her what she wants, it will be a disappointment for her. If your friendship is pure, she will understand, so see it as a friendship test. Go for it!‘