Forget couples therapy: romcoms will be your salvation

When dark clouds gather over your relationship, you naturally want to do everything you can to let the sun shine again. You can take a break or go to therapy together, but research shows that the solution is much easier. A movie night with a romcom on the schedule turns out to be the salvation for your relationship problems. But even if you just feel like a romantic movie, you can surely use this fact to persuade your partner.

An easier conversation

Is your relationship running a bit rough? Then there are probably some irritations or problems that need to be talked out. But starting such a conversation without a small war breaking out can sometimes be quite difficult. That’s exactly where romantic (comedy) films can help, according to the University of Rochester. “A movie is a non-threatening way to start the conversation,” says Ronald D. Rogge, associate professor of psychology. In the films, couples also encounter discussions that viewers can relate to. By using the fictional story as a starting point, you can discuss your own problems in a low-threshold way, according to Rogge. The research compared the ‘film method’ with two techniques from relationship therapists that focus on acceptance, empathy, and communication styles. And, as it turned out: the films worked just as well in preventing breakups. The chance of ending the relationship was halved compared to couples who did not watch romcoms.

The good watchlist

However, according to the researchers, you can't just put on any random romcom. Because we all know that the storylines can sometimes be a bit unrealistic and set our expectations of love a bit too high. “The idea that you should fall in love instantly and effortlessly is not reality and not relevant for most couples who have been in a relationship for a while,” says Rogge. According to the researchers, it is important that the focus of the film is not on falling in love, but on the ups and downs in a relationship and how the couple deals with it. It is precisely that solving problems together that provides the conversation starters that are truly a must. Just watching the movie is not enough; according to Rogge, there must also be real good talking happening. “I believe that it is the depth of the discussions that follow each film and how much effort, time, and reflection couples put into those discussions that will determine how the future will go.” To help you get started a little: ‘Couples Retreat’ and ‘Date Night’ should definitely be on your watchlist.

Source: The New York Times, Image: Nobody Wants This