Cheating can be recognised by this innocent emoji

Cheating can be recognized, and you don't need a private detective for that – you can just see it in the use of emojis. That's what the New York Times, which Paul Jones from ARF Private Investigations said. “Often it’s something that seems very innocent on the surface, which betrays cheating,” says Jones.

Cheating: of all times (and all layers)

And of all layers, the Coldplay couple proved that once again. If they had just continued dancing happily, nothing would have probably been wrong. But a guilty mind reveals itself – and often faster than you think. You feel that something is off: your partner is absent, shows less interest in you, seems more concerned with their appearance, and is a bit more restless. You feel it, but you want proof. And according to Paul Jones, that is just lying around.

This is the first thing people do when cheating: check the phone

That is of course the first action you take. When your loved one is in the shower, your fingers go over the screen of that phone. If the login code has changed, your alarm goes to the red phase. But your partner probably doesn’t do that, because that would be very suspicious. You go to the messages. Just a warning: don’t be reassured if you only see male names in the correspondence (if you are in a heterosexual relationship and you are a woman). It’s quite possible that your partner has saved Susannah as “Fred” and pretends that’s a paddle friend. It can happen, you know. The world is not always full of chocolates and rose petals.

Croissant is a code word: this emoji reveals cheating

Your partner really won’t be so stupid as to send entire song lyrics and poems to their candy of the month. But what cheaters do is exchange mutual codes. Like for example – here it comes – the croissant. If you see a croissant emoji being sent more often, it could mean: “See you tomorrow at breakfast?” Sending hearts to each other is something cheaters really don’t do. But try to recognize a pattern in their emoji use and you will see that there is a whole code language behind it.

I had a girlfriend who sent her lover empty text messages. He could always dismiss them as “sent by mistake”, but in the meantime, they both knew that she meant to say she was thinking of him.

And then, that semi-innocent croissant suddenly becomes much worse than a heart.

With whom do people actually cheat the most?

Whether you call it “cheating at work”, “affair with the neighbor” or “with your friend’s boyfriend”… what’s the real deal? Researchers have numbers on it.

What does the research say?

• According to the General Social Survey from the United States (2000–2016), 53.5% of extramarital affairs occurred through someone they knew well, like a close friend.
• About 29.4% of the affairs arose with someone they “knew reasonably well”, like a neighbor, colleague, or acquaintance.
• Only 2% had an affair with a stranger or casual date, and about 8% of the affairs were sexually transactional (for example, a paid relationship).

Men vs. women: differences in cheating

• Both men and women usually choose someone they already know.
• Men cheat slightly more often with colleagues or strangers.
• Women more often choose someone from their immediate circle of friends.

Why affairs at work happen so often

About 3% of all affairs arise with colleagues – especially among people in higher management positions (middle management ± 24TP3T, top management ± 37TP3T).
Work creates proximity, stress, successes – and thus also emotional intimacy. And that just happens to be the perfect cocktail for affairs.

The conclusion: with whom does an affair start the fastest?

With someone you know well. Think: a colleague you often hang out with, a good friend, or someone from your friend group. Cheating rarely starts with a complete stranger – and thus often closer than you’d like.

Source: Psychology Today, University of Colorado Boulder, Bustle, Psychology Today | Image: Photograph by Barbara Nitke\/HBO Max