If you've been together for a while, your spark might start to fade. I'm not talking about being together for two years, but you know: those couples who can tick off the six-plus years. That love is certainly there, but after going through the same routines, the passion diminishes. Between work and a busy life, dates get squeezed in, but do they always go the way you want? The food is good, there's been some nice chatting, and in the end, you both end up tired in bed. Both deeply engrossed in some TikTok on your phone. Maybe you watch a movie and then go to sleep, without any contact. Is this happening more often? Then it's time for a refresh. A good date can be so much more than ‘just going out together’. You just need a good steamy night, and this is exactly how you plan a date night that has a ‘happy ending’.
1. Stop with the ‘just in between’
A weekday date after a long workday? That might sound romantic, as if you can't stay away from each other, but secretly this ends in yawning and half-listening. Don't you want to be drooling from exhaustion before dessert is served? Then it's better to plan a date on the weekend. Choose an evening when you're both not exhausted and really make it a moment. Don't just quickly go out to eat, choose a DATE. Eat something, do an activity. Try going mini-golfing or watching that one movie you wanted to see two months ago. By dating each other like you used to, you create a bit more excitement. This will make you both enthusiastic and give you more energy from each other. And that energy will ensure that you're not lying in bed scrolling at night, but starting to fool around under the sheets. in all kinds of kamasutra positions.
2. Dress the part
Okay. So you've planned a good date night: Saturday evening, you can sleep in the next day. The kids are staying with grandma and grandpa, and you're going to that trendy restaurant you've wanted to eat at for a while. Everything seems perfect, but then your guy comes downstairs in jeans and a blue T-shirt. Yeah. That's not really exciting. And have you looked at your own outfit? That black blouse looked really nice in the closet, but by pairing it with those trousers you wear to the office every day, you're not really going all out. If you want to create more fireworks, then you gotta dress the part. Now I'm not saying you need to suddenly buy Louboutins, but by wearing something that isn't in your washing machine every week, you create a bit more mystery. Put on that red lipstick, wear that dress that's actually just a bit too short. The same goes for your partner: ditch those jeans and go for trousers. Try a nice polo or just wear a suit. That looks so nice. By showing off for each other, you're simply going to want each other more. You suddenly become gifts to unwrap later. Keep giving each other compliments, drink an extra glass of red wine, and believe me: the sex will come.
3. Divide the planning
Look, you can't change someone. If your partner isn't the romantic type who leaves a rose on your bed and picks out a new dress with high heels for you, then you can't expect that. If you want that, you will plan these dates. Indicate what you like, and naturally, your partner will start planning more like you want on their date days. To keep it a bit more exciting, you will divide the planning of those dates. One time you plan a surprise, and the next time your lover does. This way, you keep doing different things and both feel desired. Because that's also something that interrupts passion: that cat-and-mouse game stops and makes way for routine sex and the same dinner three times a week. By both planning a great date night with all the bells and whistles a few times a month, you ensure that the other feels wanted. a great date night with all the bells and whistles, you ensure that the other feels wanted.
4. Invest in the foreplay
That tension doesn't have to explode suddenly on the date. Foreplay can start early in the morning. Send a flirty text and linger a bit longer before you get up. Have breakfast together and take a bit longer than two seconds to kiss each other before you walk out the door, if you choose to go during the week. Is your date on the weekend? Then you can do little things every day that excite you more and more. Because let's be honest: if you get a ’I can't wait to see you tonight“ text, don't you start to feel all fired up? Once home, you get ready separately, because as soon as you walk out the door, you can worship each other. Give compliments, hold each other's hands (and let that hand slide a bit further sometimes). If you want to go all night long, you can't expect that tension to suddenly appear at 9:30 PM. You build it up.
5. Leave the arguing at home
You know what a real mood killer is? Nagging. Irritations about your partner forgetting the car keys again. Or that you took too long to choose an outfit, just like ‘always’, which made you late to the restaurant. And no, Dylan, we don't need to talk about your mother who was nagging again about you still not having kids. Tonight is about you two. About love, not about everything that goes wrong. Everyone has a bad day sometimes, but a date night is not the time to play therapist. This should be a reset that makes you want to jump into bed together. That arguing really doesn't make you want to, you know.
6. Be a little playful and cheeky
You really don't have to suddenly take on a complete alter ego (unless you feel like it, of course), but a little play with tension? Go for it. If you're wearing that shorter dress, act a little accordingly. Lean in a bit more towards your partner. Touch her/him/them just a bit longer than necessary. Just sit on his lap when the moment is right, who cares who’s watching. Make jokes, but let something slip through every now and then. Whisper something in his ear that distracts him for the rest of the evening. Look at him just a bit too long. And feel free to say out loud to the waiter that after all these years, you're still crazy about each other, but then look at him in a way that makes him know: this is going to be an interesting evening. It doesn't have to be very big or exaggerated, but by giving those little signals, you ensure that you radiate subtle “I want you” energy. And that's often enough to make sure you're not watching a movie tonight, but getting to know each other intimately again.
