8 Things That Are Better Left Unsaid

I tend to be quite talkative. Now you might think ‘great fun’ but I can tell you; it can also be quite awkward at times. I remember a Thalys trip with colleagues where I loudly and clearly proclaimed that I really couldn't stand a certain name anymore (I was heavily pregnant and quite focused on names) when I asked my colleague what her children's names were. Exactly. The very name I had just ritualistically burned down.

Why am I doing this?

Last Saturday, I also managed to maneuver myself with an incredible, self-invented U-turn in a conversation about cars where I said that Renault Twingo really drove much better than a similar type from the competitor. It turned out the person I was talking to had just bought that car. Sigh. It inspired me to make a list of things-you-better-not-say because I suspect and fear that I'm probably not the only one.

To your friend

“Why are you still emailing your ex-girlfriend?”

Do you think he will stop emailing her if you ask these kinds of nagging questions? Not really, right? And what were you actually doing in his mailbox? Kssjt, get out of there. You won't find anything that makes you happy and it would make you much more attractive if you give him a bit of privacy.

“Can you throw your clothes in the laundry basket too?”

Some things will never change. Caps and tubes of toothpaste, laundry and laundry baskets. For him, they are incompatible concepts. Leave him be and waste your energy on more important matters.

He to you

“Your girlfriend is indeed very pretty.”

No matter how many times you've asked him what he thinks of that incredibly attractive girlfriend of yours, there is really only one answer that is acceptable. That of total denial.

You to your nanny

“I chose you because I'm sure my husband doesn't find you attractive.”

And you think she will still be very nice to you and your little ones from now on?

To your single friend

“Oh, you'll find a nice guy soon enough.”

Now she really feels like a lost case.

“Isn't it funny that such a nice person like you is single?”

Same.

He to a new flame

“I hate kids.”

Admittedly, it's very honest. But for women, it's not exactly an aphrodisiac.

You to a new flame

“I want a lot of kids with you.”

Interestingly, this works the exact opposite way with men and saying this sentence, no matter how softly, is life-threatening. But really.