What I learned from my fashion mothers

9 lessons in style and fun

Some time ago I wrote about the lessons that my dearest mother gave me and still gives me in daily life. But besides my dearest Pleuntje, I have two extra mothers; my fashion mothers. Coincidentally, I sat next to both of them last night and realized how much useful knowledge I have gained from these great ladies of fashion. Read it and guess whose tip it was.

An editor always travels first class

This came from Harriet. When she was just the editor-in-chief of Cosmopolitan, her assistant had booked her a room at the Gramercy Park Hotel, which was still a bit of a rundown mess at the time. Then Helen Gurley Brown (Mrs. Cosmo) stepped in. “You are an EDITOR of Cosmopolitan. You will stay at the Paramount. Period.’ When my assistant had ordered a second-class Thalys ticket for me when I had just become editor-in-chief of Marie Claire, Harriet sputtered with restrained discomfort. ’May, you are editor-in-chief. You travel First Class. What do they think?“

 Always send a thank-you card

This is from Peggy. She is the queen of etiquette. As soon as you have eaten somewhere, immediately that evening send a card in the mail I must say that I am not very good at this, but thanks to Peggy, I do send cards more often. In fact, I had blank cards made with just our address. Made from handmade paper. All learned from Pegs.

Invest in bags

This honor goes to both, although it was Harriet who really gave me the assignment to ‘invest in some designer bags now’. Of course, I followed that up neatly. Ah, I am so well-behaved.

Throw away

Peggy really goes through her closet every six months. Partly because she doesn’t have an enormous amount of closet space, but also because she is very good at throwing things away. I do: the less you have, the more you wear.

Living well is the best revenge

No matter how ugly people treat you, you certainly do not lower yourself to their level. The goal is to package a sentence in such a way that it seems very nice but ultimately delivers a tremendous blow. I once sat with all the editors-in-chief in a meeting room when we had to move to a larger room. The lady next to me, not my friend, took my Moleskine notebook with her. In the new room, I asked her if I could have my notebook back, to which she said extremely cattily: “You don’t pay attention to your things if you didn’t even notice I took your notebook.” To which I replied: “Oh, I did see it. But I think it’s fine when you carry my things for me.” Well, then Harriet was purring with pride.

Harriet's sweetest revenge was when we once didn’t get an invite for the Chanel show (there was a reason for that because I hadn’t been officially appointed editor-in-chief yet and Harriet’s position hadn’t been properly communicated to Chanel) and we walked together, exactly at the time of the show, to the Bon Marché where she bought a Dior bag When I write it down, I have to laugh again.

Fake it

When Peggy was asked to make a somewhat awkward phone call that she found a bit beneath her, she would just use another name. “Hello, you are speaking with Anneke te Pas.” And when she wanted to get into a show, she would just come up with the name of a journalist she was sure would be coming and thus chatted her way in. She also claimed at the Kenzo show that I was pregnant so that we would get a good seat instead of the miserable standing we had.

People shouldn’t quite understand it

That is Harriet's fashion motto. “I am only truly satisfied when they don’t fully understand my outfit,” is her credo. Once, the entire sales department of Sanoma was thrown off because Harriet had said that she found dresses too bourgeois. But fashion-wise, she was certainly right. Skirt and top are so much more original. And Harriet was just a bit ahead.

 Eating or drinking

That’s Peggy, because Harriet hardly drinks. At most a glass of port or maybe a drop of champagne. When you go out to dinner with Peggy, you immediately know whether she is in eating or drinking mode. Both is not an option.

Accept everything

Also from Peggy. Don’t explain that you’d rather not eat cake or don’t need a glass of wine this time. Everyone will just make it complicated. So at every Sanoma treat, Peggy would say: “Yes, please.” That she then throws it in the trash is no problem. What you don’t know won’t hurt you.