afraid of calling

About a month ago, I spoke to a friend about his new love interest. There had been a few dates, he thought she was amazing but couldn't quite figure out if she felt the same way about him. They had kissed, not slept together, there was a flurry of texting, and there was already another date planned. But then she suddenly canceled. He was confused because why on earth, and he didn't completely believe her excuse that she had suddenly become ill. So I said: “Well, then just call her to ask how she’s feeling and if you should bring her some soup or something?” To which he had to laugh hard and said: “No, we’re not calling yet.”

And he is not the first one I hear this from. I myself am a huge caller but I don't know many companions. Most girlfriends or friends see calling as a sort of next step. Kissing, sex, dating, being in a relationship, calling, exchanging keys, living together, babies, and marriage. Something like that. Calling is a phase, a next step in what you have together. I was once flirting with a guy and when he called the day after the first date, I was pleasantly surprised because I thought it was quite nice that he turned out to be a caller too. A man who can send fun texts via SMS or WhatsApp already has a 10-point lead with me, but if he turns out to be fun on the phone as well, we quickly have a winner.

WhatsApping is often so cumbersome; coordinating what you’re going to do tonight can be arranged in 3 minutes with a phone call and can really drag on endlessly via text. Moreover, you can sometimes completely misunderstand each other's humorously intended texts, no matter how many winking smileys you use. So I am a big proponent of calling. I don’t quite understand why so many people find it so scary. Don’t you have fun when you go out to dinner together? Or when you’re at the pub? Why is calling so different?

For those who find this relatable and have been sending messages to flirt object X for weeks now;;pick up that phone. The old-fashioned way. Call him! At first, it might be a bit scary but really, you’ll see; it’s not that bad. Good luck!