YOUR NEW LOVE

when will that be on social media?

Recently, I had a conversation with a friend who was quite thrown off because her new love has no Facebook, no Twitter, and no Instagram. Absolutely nothing. So there’s no homework to do, nothing to keep an eye on, no old vacation photos to look at, absolutely nothing. They met at the bar and she almost didn’t let the whole date go ahead because there was no trace of information about this guy online, and all alarm bells were set to ‘serial killer’. But in the end, she went for it, it was incredibly fun, and they haven’t been able to get enough of each other for three months.

So what’s the problem, you ask. Well, she finds it so uncozy that he’s not online. They can’t post photos together, he doesn’t see all her super fun Instagram photos he has no idea about that stunning profile picture on Facebook and all her witty tweets don’t exist for him. That’s a luxury problem, maybe even a bit dramatic, but she’s really bothered by it. And in a way, I understand it, because for her, her online life is very important. She works online and it feels to her as if her real life flows into her digital life in many ways, and vice versa. It’s the same for me: it’s my job to write for a website, Instagram is inextricably linked to that, and Facebook is incredibly important for the traffic of Amayzine. In short, it feels to her as if her new love doesn’t understand a big part of her life. Can’t understand and doesn’t want to understand.

In short, it feels to her as if her new love doesn’t understand a big part of her life. Can’t understand and doesn’t want to understand.

I once had a love who was on Facebook, but was very panicky about it. He only wanted to add me as a Facebook friend when we were officially dating, and not during the two months of dating that preceded that. I found that incredibly annoying and confusing. What does he have to hide? Is he ashamed of me or something? That kind of shit you start to think. Once I had joined the sacred domain of his Facebook, there was nothing to experience, he hadn’t posted an update in three years and there was nothing to see on a few old grainy profile pictures. He had blocked his friends, which I of course found highly suspicious. He never ever liked a photo of mine, but did of others. He never ever reacted to anything I posted, but did to others. That all sounds like silly girl talk, it made me quite insecure to be treated as a pariah digitally.

No, then there was that other guy who took a selfie of us together during our very first date “to send to my roommate”, but then posted it on Instagram. Without me knowing. The next day, I received all kinds of shocked messages on my phone saying: “OMG are you dating this and that?!” News travels fast and although it went a lot faster than I had imagined, I was happier with his approach than with that of the previous one.

No, then there was that other guy who took a selfie of us together during our very first date “to send to my roommate”

In short, love and social media is one way or another a reason for trouble. I told that friend of mine about my two men and that it might actually be nice to have a guy without an awareness of the internet. Then you can just say to each other what you think and feel without deciphering complicated messages and driving yourself crazy over meaningless events. And that, that didn’t seem so crazy to her.