Sexy Friday
8 x why having sex with your ex is a total kamikaze move
You break up, don’t see him for years, and suddenly Mister Big is standing right in front of you. He is even hotter. And god, it’s so cozy that you decide to go for a drink and before you know it, you feel incredibly young and attractive and catch yourself feeling butterflies.
Whoa stop. Alarm bells times a hundred. Stop the horniness. Think of old wrinkled grandpas. The poop smell of your ex. sweaty toes, fucking something. Because hanging out with Mister verrrry Big (if you know what I mean) sounds super exciting and nice, but can be incredibly tricky. The undersigned speaks from experience. So here are a few reasons not to hook up with your former husband. Trust me, you can thank me later.
1. Holy hell: you might suddenly be his booty call
Imagine ending up in a situation where you get downgraded from the most important person in his life to a BOOTY CALL. Tha fuck? We feel a bit too good for that, right?
2. It’s pretty awkward afterwards
Because you just had sex with your ex. And you’re sitting naked in the same room. And then maybe difficult conversations need to be had or not. Or it turns out he suddenly has a girlfriend. Do you hear Taylor Swift singing? ‘Troubles, troubles…’
3. Or maybe the sex is just way too good again
And you would want to trade your weekly gym routine for a sweaty ride with your old love. But your slightly too personal trainer thinks otherwise and then: disappointment all around.
4. Het werkte de eerste keer niet
People grow apart for a reason. Maybe you were ready for something new, maybe not and you were terribly dumped. Either way: you came out stronger, more confident. You’ve grown as a person, matured, and gained new insights and ideas. By getting back into bed with your ex, it feels a bit like you’re back to square one.
5. You then seem unable to leave him
And you’re once again an easy target that can be seduced with a bit of ordinary sex. If you’re really in trouble, you’ll still be wilting in an ever-turning, kissing, licking, cheap sex cycle. The misery. You don’t want that.
6. You will never have the bond you once had
Painful, but true. Maybe the sex with him isn’t what you remember anymore.
7. It could happen that he has developed some strange fetish since your breakup.
You don’t want that. Run.
8. The worst: he has had half the neighborhood since the breakup
And might be carrying some nasty STD or something else and you definitely don’t want to deal with that.
Yes, Mister Big (Mistake), what’s done is done. And to conclude with the glorious words of Carrie Bradshaw: ‘We keep dresses we’ll never wear again, but we throw away ex-boyfriends’. Amen. And now onto the new chapter of your life. Good luck!
