Happy & Healthy
DIGITAL DATING
7 things that make it damn difficult
According to the latest figures from CBS, 15 percent of internet users - almost two million Dutch people - occasionally visit a dating site. That's quite a lot. Call me old-fashioned, but I don't find it romantic. I don't think dating apps should turn into a kind of yes/no game where people judge each other based on one photo.
Okay, maybe I shouldn't be so picky and accept that the digital search for a partner and the staged meetings that the internet offers are simply permissible in this era. But hey, can I list 5 points on why online dating is complicated?
1. We are too hard on the search for perfection
Digital dating creates unrealistic expectations. We see one ridiculous perfect picture on Instagram after another. And by being able to endlessly swipe between profile pictures you almost start to think: this person is nice, but maybe there's an even nicer person to find. And so you keep going.
“Whoever you are, a plastered bathroom selfie where you stand with a neon light on your face has little to do with how you look in the supermarket”
2. The dates are suddenly up for grabs
And yes, that stresses people out and makes them picky. Compare it to 7 types of different jams in the supermarket. What. In. God's name. To. Choose?
3. Men and women search for a potential partner in totally different ways
While men unconsciously look for signs of fertility (young, healthy women, with a good waist and wider hips) from their ‘primitive feeling’, women tend to look for men who can protect them. According to research, we look more for signs of wealth, athleticism, a symmetrical face, and good genes for potential children. Just so you know what your profile picture should meet therefore.
4. Speaking of which; many profile pictures are misleading
Whoever you are, a plastered bathroom selfie where you stand with a neon light on your face has little to do with how you look in the supermarket. Also, most profile descriptions often say very little. Almost everyone on a dating site is suddenly ‘spontaneous, adventurous, loves socializing, music, and a glass of wine, is not really looking, but would find it nice if...’ Yeah, right.
““Can't we just chat sexually?”, a friend recently saw on her screen”
5. The annoying sex talk
So if you're looking for a serious relationship, you suddenly get a horde of fast-scoring losers that you first have to filter out. “Can't we just chat sexually?”, a friend recently saw on her screen when she asked to go for a drink. THE DICK. Dating sites have almost become computer games where men hunt for bare boobs. And in that game, many egos are hurt and souls are wounded.
6. Whether there is real chemistry, you don't know yet
Where you feel some form of physical attraction in the sports club or on the terrace or get to know someone ‘innocently’ before deciding to shoot a cupid arrow, it goes much more intensely on a dating site. You shoot, but you don't really know what for. Is there real chemistry between you two? Yes, you only find out during a meeting afterwards.
7. The impersonality
Technological advancement and the rapidly growing online dating industry lead to very impersonal loves, don't you think? Love experts agree: maybe we should take a step back. Communicate face-to-face. Seems like a great plan.
