Happy & Healthy
RIDICULOUS THINGS YOU DO WHEN YOU JUST GOT YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE
‘They see me rollinnnn’
Yesterday I drove all the way from Epe to Utrecht. About 90 kilometers. Sweaty armpits, brain on zero and just go for it. To almost have a panic attack halfway through the ride on a hysterically busy highway. Call me a pussy, but you know, people who just got their driver's license do strange things.
Here they come:
1. You get sweat beads at just about every double roundabout and your passenger is the one who suffers. “WHERE do I need to go? WHICH LANE?!” Seriously; sweating bullets.
2. Speaking of sweating, when you arrive at your destination, you get a shock from the little sweat beads that have just gathered under your armpits.
3. Merging onto the highway is still a, eh, thing. Did I mention that during my interim test I drove about 500 meters on the shoulder because I didn't dare to merge?
4. You seize every opportunity to just get in the car. Your bike gets neglected and suddenly you’re doing grocery shopping with your car. While the supermarket is within walking distance from your house.
5. You suddenly have new selfie opportunities. Because you think you look pretty badass behind the wheel. ‘They see me rollinnnn’.
“Look, didn’t you see that cyclist?” “Mom, please…”
6. You just finished your first ride with your mom and you know you’re never going to do that again. ‘Look, didn’t you see that cyclist?!’ ‘Mom, please…’
7. You’re so used to having an instructor next to you that at first you feel awkward being alone in the car. And in the weeks that follow, it suddenly hits you hard: FREEDOM.
8. Nightmare: the moment you are first in line at a traffic light and you haven’t let the clutch come up enough, causing the engine to stall. And everyone gets grumpy when you suddenly lurch forward way too late. Can a hatch open in the road where you can disappear - car and all?
9. You panic when a light suddenly comes on in your car and you have no idea what the heck it means and you wonder if your car is about to explode.
10. Because you get nightmares from parking alone, you search for all the space (read: five streets away you find three empty spots next to each other. It’s worth the 10-minute walk in heels. Duh.).
“Sander, can that fucking Taylor Swift be quieter, I can’t concentrate!!!”
11. At intersections, your thoughts go in all directions. Me yesterday: “Let’s see, I have priority, okay go. Oh shit, yield signs. -wait- Is the coast clear? Sander, can that fucking Taylor Swift be quieter, I can’t concentrate!!!”
12. You suddenly gain deep respect for people who effortlessly turn the steering wheel, parallel park in the middle of Amsterdam, and also make hands-free calls at the same time. Like Maytje in her Renault (here is room for a bow and you hear people clap and stuff).
13. Suddenly all your friends ask if you want to be the designated driver. Which you really can’t do nine times out of ten. A tip from me: the excuse “I have an infected toenail and it really hurts a lot when I press the gas pedal” always works.
By the way, curious how you snag that driver's license in one go - yes really? Then just read this.
