20 top excuses to not have to exercise today

Applause, applause, and a big fat feather for all the people who get up in the morning to exercise. The truth? I can barely get out of bed to take a morning pee. I'm already proud if I stand at the bus stop for three minutes instead of sitting on the bench.

You see, for some of us, exercising and the whole fitgirl hype that comes with it is just complicated. So, if you feel addressed, it's time for a round of PERFECT excuses to not have to go. With kind regards from your happy blubber butt.

You don't have to absolutely not exercise today because…

… you will do a few exercises at home tonight. That works too, right? (Meanwhile turns on Netflix and tears open a bag of chips…)

… you lost one running shoe during your last session when you had to be rescued from the ditch and were transported to the hospital by a trauma helicopter. So you need to buy shoes first.

… you have to wait for the doorbell because Albert Heijn/Hellofresh/you name it is delivering the groceries and you have to be home, everyone understands that.

… you are already walking to the bus during the day. So that's actually already physical activity.

… you also bike to the Jumbo every four days.

… you slept really poorly last night. You really should exercise when you're fresh.

… your sports clothes just happen to be in the wash today. What a shame!

… you can hardly believe it yourself, but your CAT has draped a little poop/pee/spit on your sports clothes. What a rotten beast!

… you are going to cry from the rain and it is raining. Everyone understands that you won't go boot camping when it's raining?!

… you are on your period. For the whole month, yes. So strange. You are considering a visit to the doctor.

… you assume that other people also understand that exercising is not okay when the dams have broken. Another time, sorry.

… you really think that cat Loeloe is going to give birth tonight.

… you still have such sore muscles from that last session. From last month.

… you are going tomorrow. Of course. Yes, you are going tomorrow. After you have flopped on the couch with a cup of tea. But then you will go. Really.

… you ate a spoiled slavink and don't want to deal with a diarrhea attack during the spinning class.

… you just have a gigantic busy life that is so sensationally exciting that you have no time for exercise.

… you catch a cold from the gym's air conditioning. You will look for another gym. You will start searching tomorrow.

… you can recently play such a fun game. Heaaaaad shoulders, fat roll one, fat roll two.

… you are having wild sex like a wild horse and burning a hell of a lot of calories, you know.

… you are way too busy with reading articles on Amayzine where the worst excuses ever are given to avoid exercising.

Enough bullshit lazybones. We are going together. Tomorrow, okay? Or the day after tomorrow? I'll check the agenda, okay? And I'll get back to you.

Someday.