HOW DO YOU SNEAK AWAY AFTER A ONE NIGHT STAND?
The award for the most brilliant action after a one night stand goes to – no, I’ll keep her name anonymous for now, but she can be found with us in Pilotenstraat. ‘I once left a tenner.’ Brilliant this. What humor. I wonder how that guy felt when he saw such a note next to his bed in the morning. And then such a response at our editorial office: ’Not, I’ll stay here until I get breakfast.‘ Okay, Theo.
But sneaking away, that’s really a thing, because how on earth do you do that without it being awkward? And that walk of shame afterwards, man oh man, what a misery. Especially when you have to hit the street in a clear party outfit so early in the morning: high heels, low neckline, everything. Then you regret that you didn’t participate in that half night stand.
The one night stand etiquette: how do you leave the bed of a stranger in a classy way? Here are a few pointers:
– You probably think: I have to be as quiet as possible, then he won’t wake up. I get it, you get it, but for some reason these are exactly the moments when you make much more noise and that’s when it gets awkward.
– Practical tip: make sure you have all your stuff together beforehand. Now I really understand that you don’t feel like gathering all your things after ‘the deed’, because you just want to snooze, but believe me: in the morning you’ll be really glad you did.
that Walk of Shame is now just called a Stride of Pride
– Another practical tip: the wrap dress. Did you have a date the night before with a guy and do you have a clothing dilemma? Then at least you know what to wear. Night out with friends? Wear this. You never know where you’ll end up, and suppose you end up in bed with a stranger, then this is the easiest thing to put on again the next morning.
-If you really need an excuse in the morning because he has woken up and you want to leave as quickly as possible: you have to work/sport/you have a breakfast date/physio appointment/you have to visit your grandma/you have to walk your dog (that you don’t have)/you have to go to church…
– If you really can’t get away because the guy wants to cuddle or something? Just say that you forgot your pill and that you need to get the morning-after pill as soon as possible. Bet he’ll let you go in no time? And maybe he’ll even give you fifteen euros to buy it. You can just slip that in your pocket.
– That Walk of Shame is now just called a Stride of Pride. After all, you just had sex; you’ve lost your panda points. That deserves to be celebrated. For the less student-like readers among us, you get panda points for every month you haven’t had sex.
Good luck tonight, huh. And cheers.
