The problem if you are not married

I am not married and that's fine. Just because there are always more reasons not to than to do it. Recently I was at a Tiffany dinner and I was talking to three women in similar situations. All of them have been with the same man for a hundred years, together with children, houses, and maybe even a business, but no ring. All three completely okay with our status, except for that one problem: how do you refer to your man? Here are the options and the reactions from the unmarried trio.

1. My husband

No option, because factually he is not your husband. I do say it often, but ‘officially’ it doesn't belong.

2. My boyfriend

Then everyone thinks you've only been together for a few years. And anyway, they think he is not the father of your children. You don't want that.

3. The father of my children

Then they immediately think you are separated and want to avoid the word ‘ex’. Not pleasant.

4. My beloved

Very nice and sweet (I say that very often too), but on the other hand also quite a bit intimate. In a business setting, it's a bit inappropriate to introduce someone like that.

5. My partner

Definitely lesbian, said friend H. Totally fine and nice, but that's not us. Or you think of a business partner and that’s not correct either.

6. Significant Other, also known as S.O.

It doesn't get less cozy and more businesslike than this. We also found it a bit pretentious. “My S.O. and I unfortunately cannot come.”

7. My girlfriend

See point 2.

There is only one thing to do. Get married and move on to point 1.

Are you in the mood?

Here we wrote about why you shouldn't get married.

And here the things you shouldn't forget when you are getting married.