Amayzine

What we all thought while watching Adam Seeks Eve

So I dove back in front of the TV last night to check out the latest episode of Very Important Piemel Zkt. Punani. The only thing I can really say? I was shocked. Holy mother of plastic surgery, I watched the whole episode but focused on just one thing.

And since this was the very last episode of this season (something about crying and falling into a black hole), it's time for one last round of laughter at this cringeworthy delightful TV show. Lips puckered, chests out, and off we go? That's what I mean.

  1. Alright, what we all thought. Who. Is. Kasia. But really. Who is that woman??
  2. Ah, something with Keeping Up With The Balkjes, of course. No, I remember now. A mini-series on LINDA.tv. I was almost in Kinderen voor Kinderen, am I now also VIP?
  3. Everyone who has ever appeared in a HEMA advertisement, you are now also VIP! FINALLY RECOGNITION!
  4. Just a crazy fun fact for those who missed it. What if I told you that I was asked by a casting agency to participate in this show? This season, yes. No, I'm not joking. No, I didn't have to think long about it. By the way, another cool story for during the drinks.
  5. A small point of criticism, makers. If you call someone the Dutch Kim Kardashian , make sure the best woman speaks Dutch, okay? Thank you.
  6. OKAY, NOW WE'RE FINALLY GOING TO TALK ABOUT THE ASS. It's not like we can avoid it or anything. Seriously, Kasia jumps off the raft and I almost choke on my bucket of schadenfreude popcorn. Is this real? This is a joke, right?
  7. I don't know about you, but I didn't see a single labia during the entire episode, by the way. Also no men on the island, were there any? #ObsessedByTheAss.
  8. Oh, suddenly an Adam washes ashore. We start with Tarzan, a.k.a. Jesus Christ Superstar, a.k.a. Valentijn. And ski instructor Valentijn is wearing such an unsexy pair of underwear that it's just as well that thing stays on the raft.
  9. Why is Valentijn participating? ‘I find Kasia a very interesting woman. Impressive too. When you look at her, you think: ‘Hey, that's not just anything.” ‘Something.’ Nice word choice, dude.
  10. Then it's time for the awkward meeting. Where the guy must be shocked, because it can't be any other way than with a square butt that swallows half the beach. ‘Uh, nice palm trees you have here,’ he manages to sputter out. Or do you mean coconuts, Valentijn?
  11. Ah, COME ON man, I didn't see that swing in the previous episode at all. Set up by the crew, I assume, knowing that Big Silicone Butt + Swing = Double Fun. I would seriously be scared to death that my butt would explode.
  12. Little Adam 2 looks like he just came straight from the juvenile detention center. Say hello to the 24-year-old playboy Fitz, a.k.a. Chris Brown. Who immediately has the guts to ask if Kasia wants to take a spin in the sea. Meine gute, what a bold guy. What an embarrassing meat inspection.
  13. This show really has next level metaphors. Fitz: ‘I see myself as a boy in the ice cream parlor. You really have to try all the flavors before you know what you like.’
  14. The tweets were once again a fan-tas-tic addition to the show itself. A small selection.
    – Did that woman swallow a diaper? #durftevragen
    – A hut without furniture. Luckily she always brings her own pouf...
    – Delightful, so pure and natural that woman at #AdamZktEva
  15. Awkward moment 279 this season. The guy says that he has actually never had a relationship in his life at the age of twenty-five and two minutes later she asks if he has children. Sooooo.
  16. ‘Is your last name WiFi? Because I feel a connection.’ Okeeeee, Fitz. Never had a girlfriend, you said? Strange, with such a pickup line.
  17. ‘Botox doesn't affect your brain, you know.’ Okay, I actually think Kasia is pretty cool.
  18. ‘I love men with a plan. A man without a plan is like a monkey without a banana.’ Okay, stop it, I love this woman. HAHAHA.
  19. Final score? Valentijn is the good guy, Fitz the bad guy. And who gets the key? Exactly the one you don't want. DAMN.
  20. Time for the Adam Zkt. Eva newsflash: I received mail from Mr. the cowboy boot JANTINUS. My goodness. I quote: ‘Hey monkey head. Nice piece you wrote, I was laughing out loud... I'm going to train for the Elfstedentocht. Cheers.’ Look, farmer dude from Appelscha, this is what I call humor. Shall we plan an interview soon?
  21. Just a little about last week, okay? Did you know that Cassius was offered no less than 15 thousand euros to parade around in his naked costume? Whether the guy was really looking for love remains the question of this season.
  22. It's over with our share of naked TV, girlfriends, fino e basta. Want to reread all the naked chatter from the past weeks? You're welcome. See you next year, disaster nudists.

Recap of the episode with Inge de Bruijn (something with a shrimp in the sea)
Recap of Curt Fortin (something with absolutely no punishment to watch)

Recap of Chaira Borderslee (something with crying for an hour)
Recap of B-Brave boy Cassius (something with the most awkward television ever)