Temptation Island babbles
episode 4
Ha, little troublemaker. Oioioi, I still need a little time to recover from last night. Intense. Episode 4 was hyped so much by all the previews that I wondered if it would meet all expectations, but I can tell you: boy, it did. Megan and Joshua: applause for you, I live for this shit.
A four-day foreplay has culminated in a kind of big bang. Out with the breasts, and let go of those brakes! Okay sorry for the early morning, but not being vulgar doesn't work anymore at this stage of the seduction game. The Temptation Island Talk afterwards was even called ‘kets klets’. I mean. Are you ready for a recap of the most awkward TV ever? Great. Here it comes:
1. Just a critical note to Mezdi. Dancing went too far for you? But going into the sea with half-naked chicks is okay? Hypocrite much? #IetsMetEenPotEnEenKetel.
2. Kevin: “I hope she just uses her brain a little.”
All of the Netherlands on the couch: “No buddy. We hope not. GO MEGAN. GAS ON THAT LOLLIPOP. GRAB THAT JOSHUA.”
3. Imagine, just hypothetically: you are the seductress of Temptation Island 2018. Then you’re laughing your ass off in bed at night about that Tim, right? Right?
4. Ah okay, Mezdi is going into the sea because of the skin on his nose. No, now I get it. Not to look for mussels guys, we just misunderstood.
5. I find it almost embarrassing to say, but is it very normal that every time I look at Kevin I spontaneously crave cheese fondue?
6. A crying (STOP WITH THE WORD WENEN) Daniëlle: “Maybe I did something wrong myself. God just wanted it this way.” Girlfriend, I think God wanted you to take out your pencils for a little coloring outside the lines with Fabrizio. How do you like that.
7. Who needs a voice-over for this season when you have Tim?
Everything Mezdi and Kevin try to do sneakily off-screen is loudly clarified by this NSB’er HAHAHA.
8. Megan: “I just did what felt right at that moment. Just not thinking about the consequences...” Oh god, in a few seconds social media is going to explode…
3…..
2…..
1……
Well that escalated quickly.
9. Furthermore, I want to thank Def Rhymz for his inspiration for this week's carnival hit.
“To the green,
Even if you’re a koeroend,
From left to right,
It’s okay
Megaaan do ittttt
It’s okay come on dohuuuthuhuhut.”
10. OOOOOOMIJNGODJE. Shit is happening. Megan is gone wild, almost eating his face off. Did that chick take lessons from Ankie van Grunsven amaai amaaiiiiiii ridin’ it like a pony girl!
11. Why wasn’t this song played during Megan and Joshua’s adventure? Such a missed opportunity.
If you’re horny, let’s do it
Ride it, my pony
My saddle’s waiting
Come and jump on it
12. Sjooooooo. That Brandsteder is really stirring things up. I need to go to the optician soon to pick out new glasses, but even I saw that he didn’t touch her butt.
13. Makers, just a request: can Tim please go to the shopping mall? Just to buy a new pair of pants. Regards. From. My. Eyes.
14. Honestly, the moment you’re the last one at the campfire, you just KNOW you’re in trouble. Muchos Problemos Onderwayos.
15. Another reason why I love Twitter…
Just a little about that giveaway, huh. “Do you want a chance to win a lovely vacation?” Well, after this season, I think a high-pressure cleaner needs to go over that island first…
16. Hey Carlo Boszhard! Just a little idea. I’m already looking forward to an imitation of Tim and Deborah at the TV canteen. Including a sausage pillow with T-shirt. Kevin and Megan also please at the cheese platter. I’m ready for it. Bring on the drama to my tellie. Thank you.
17. What is that ZwaTetta saying again in the preview for next week? He got stuck in my punani? Mezdi? Oioioi this promises something again.
18. Please tell me you also watched Temptation Talk. THAT HAIR OF JOSHUA. YIKES. HELP. HELP. HELP.
P.S.: What we are giving away this week on my Instagram @kikiduren? The striped Cool Cat jumpsuit (worth 19.95) that instantly makes you feel like a sex kitten, a private detective who can keep an eye on your partner while out partying and 5x L’Oréal’s latest lip scrub ‘Mezdi’.
P.P.S.: Can’t wait for the next campfire where Kevin faces the pony skills of his ‘dumb, naive’ Megan? Heart at the bottom! Wow wow, already looking forward to it…
