Why it’s not a big deal if you ‘settle’ for the wrong person

The beautiful thing about love is that there are actually no rules. And so you can never really do it wrong.

If you choose a partner whom you think: oh dear, maybe they are not quite the one, that's really not a problem. Doubts in a relationship: hooray. Be happy about it. According to author Alain de Botton of the New York Times, settling for the wrong person is actually a good plan. Because, yes, that true love doesn't exist at all. And in this time of doubts and endless choice stress, making a decision in your love life is oh so important. And so someone may still seem a bit imperfect, but that doesn't mean they are.

That you settle for ‘someone who is not quite your true one’  doesn't really say much. And whether it's about getting married, living together, or having children, doesn't matter. How you settle, that's up to you. But with whom, you no longer need to worry. That says something not about that person, but more about yourself. It actually means that you are always worrying and know nothing for sure. The perfect figure doesn't exist anyway, only in fairy tales. So whether you marry a slightly less perfect partner and have babies, that doesn't matter. That sounds a bit strange or maybe a bit silly, but that's not the case. The most important thing is being prepared for disappointments. No one is perfect and no, you won't suddenly encounter that in six years either. Therefore, it's so nice if you really choose, even if you choose with doubts.

It also turns out that the person who fits you best is actually the person with whom it sometimes clashes. Someone who is different from you. Someone you can negotiate well with and with whom you can pleasantly agree to disagree, that person is better for you in the long run. Go ahead and bicker and argue, why not, delightful. And then they may seem so silly and not the right one to grow old with. Ha, just wait and see. You will see that the one who seems so perfect for you on paper is not at all. It's precisely someone with a different opinion and a different view on life that complements you. Well, that love, huh. So unpredictable and that's wonderful: because making mistakes is not possible. And choosing a wrong love is also not. That saves stress, doesn't it?

FACTS

• Half of all cohabitants in the Netherlands only make verbal agreements about this and do not sign any contract.
• 44% of women say they alone clean up their partner's mess.
• 33% of people would like their partner to spend less time watching television.

Image: Pinterest