Why Melania really needs to divorce now

So I'm on a mission. A mission to get Melania to divorce. I mean: Melania, with that alimony, you're all set. The whole world will be watching whether Donald will leave you well off. It has nothing to do with love, but with personal PR. And does it matter to you: a nice little apartment on Park Avenue, enough dollars to pay for Barron's school, and come on, a little shopping money. But even if you have to take ten steps back financially, does it matter to you? My great-grandfather always said: ’You can only eat one steak a day.‘ Loosely translated into Melania language: ’You can only carry one Chanel bag at a time.‘ At most two, if it's in fashion. So.

Today, evidence number two. After porn actress (I learned today from my friend M that you shouldn't just ‘throw around’ the word porn star because not every actress who spreads her legs in a porn film is immediately a star, hence) Stormy Daniels  there is a second woman who claims to have received hush money from Uncle Donald. Playboy model Karen McDougal allegedly received $150,000 to keep her mouth shut instead of wide open.

The story goes that Trump met both ladies during a golf tournament, still shortly after Melania Melania had given birth to their son Barron. I repeat: still shortly after Melania had just given birth to their son Barron. Dear Melania, this means one thing: you've been double-crossed. And to quote another grandfather: ‘If you get screwed, you want to have a little fun with it.’

Leave that man. I'm putting my quarters on it for Christmas.