Christmas and New Year's as a single is just not that fun

Overall, I'm quite satisfied when were single. Or well, as a single, overall I'm quite satisfied with myself. With my little life. With my friends. With my work. But every now and then you have a period, or a setback, where you think... Damn. I would really like to cuddle up on the couch with my boyfriend right now. Or go out for a romantic dinner, a romantic weekend away, a romantic evening walk. Actually, the whole word ‘romantic’ is currently not present in my life. Yes, romantic comedy after which I'm sitting on the couch sniffling. But that's not really the romance I'm looking for.

And for me, such a period where I really miss that is always around Christmas and New Year's. Seems logical actually. Everyone is coming up with plans, complaining that they have such a busy Christmas because of in-laws. Uh, yes, until a week ago I would just be sitting alone on Christmas Eve (thank God for single friends who are also up for a drinking and eating fest on this evening), so excuse me for not being able to muster that pity. Boohoo that you're so not-normally-busy around the holidays because of your relationship. Because being single around the holidays is usually just thick Kaa Uu Tee.

But I can still survive Christmas. New Year's is when I really find it terrible. Because all the loving couples kiss each other at midnight. And me? Well, I'm standing there with my now twentieth glass of wine, because I'm drinking away the fact that the person I would like to kiss at that moment is not there (side note: celebrating New Year's as a single with heartbreak is the absolute Kaa Uu Tee). And around 12:10 I'm up for the New Year's wishes, when the couples are done with each other and I'm just taking the last sip of my now twenty-first glass of wine. Bottoms up.

And the worst part is that people in relationships understand so well that those holidays can be quite horror. In other words: they pity you. This year I'm once again celebrating New Year's at my brother's, which is incredibly cozy, but where I am also the only single. Friends then say: ‘Oh come on, we're having fun together, right?’ And that's absolutely true, but the pitying undertone is in nine out of ten cases not very subtle. Thanks, I get it, you think I'm pathetic. I think I'm pathetic too.

So even if you can see yourself as an independent woman, even she has a breaking point every now and then. For me, those are clearly the holidays and I sincerely hope I'm not the only one in that. All the women, who are independent, throw your hands up at me. That doesn't apply to me during this December month. In January, I'm back in charge.