According to experts, this is how much sex you really ‘need’ in a relationship’

One friend is fine with once every few months, she says. The other thinks that once a week is the strict minimum. But what is wisdom in the relationship?

First of all: having sex can sometimes fall by the wayside even in the best relationships. Children, hormones, menstruation, stress, pregnancies, being away from home too much, being at home too much in an XL pajama; there are so many reasons why we don't do it three times a day. And that seems so fun. Because sex is exactly that one thing that connects you like you do with (hopefully) no one else. How much sex do you ‘need’ according to science in a good relationship?

It has been proven. A study that has been ongoing since 1970 and involves thousands of couples shows that happy people have an average of 58 times sex per year. That's a bit more than once a week. So just a quickie on Sunday morning and not just on vacation.

But this is an average and it applies to both young, infatuated teenagers and older married couples who read nicely before bed and are also fine with a kiss. There are of course outliers. People in their twenties raise the average quite a bit with 111 times love making per year. That's much more often than older couples do it: almost twice a week. And for the singles among us it’s about 60 times a year. Quite similar to the average of couples. And that while finding a sex partner on Tinder or in the bar is a bit more work than when you have your handsome sweetheart just sitting on the couch.

Oh, just do what feels good for you. And talk about it. If you stick to once a week and suddenly it doesn't happen, don't be alarmed. Then it suddenly happens again a month later those four times per weekend and you suddenly bounce through the bathroom. Desire comes and goes and you can't demand or plan or make it happen. Better to have an occasional explosive fireworks show than to have a lame party more often, maybe? Especially don't worry about it: then you just make it a big deal. And this is precisely the easiest and most enjoyable deal in your life, right?