If you are addicted to being busy

‘Hey, long time no see! How are you?’ ‘Hey, yeah good, busy. And you?’ Recognizable? We are doing well. And you know, we are b-u-s-y.

Being busy is the latest drug. Busyness creates a feeling of being successful and that's why we find it so enjoyable. It provides a dopamine boost in the brain, because you did it. Hop, tackled eighty-four emails and at the same time sat in the playground with your child. Mother and manager, yes, you can do that. We are fascinating, interesting, in demand, so ha, that's why we are always busy. Active. On the go. In a hurry. But by now, I can say as a mother and as a psychologist, the hype has faded and we all slowly realize... Being busy is not cool. Being busy is now... for those who don't have their lives in order.

This is partly due to a book like ‘The Four Hour Workweek’. Sounds good, doesn’t it, a four-hour workweek? The author does it. He calls ‘the new rich’ those who have time. Gold is old, having time to be with the people you love really matters in life. And time is precious, because today you won't get back tomorrow. If only you had really laughed with your child on the swing instead of staring at your iPhone. Everyone who babbles that they are oh so busy is actually hiding a bit from real life. People use all those appointments and meetings and outings and drinks to mask their true real ‘self’. This way they don’t have to be truly themselves: they are never bored, they are hardly home, they are never calm. They are never just who they are, without embellishment, without interesting cocktail parties and concerts and festivals and dinners.

British business psychologist Tony Crabbe got fed up and wrote the book ‘Busy’. He did this because he was too busy in his own life. He works for companies like Microsoft and Disney, has a wife and three children in Spain, and also does research at the University of London. He gives handy tips, which I’ll share with you here, in case you don’t have enough time to read his entire book (wink wink):

Control:

Don’t do a million things for everyone and everything, you live your life. What is important and what can come off the to-do list? Cross it off.
Focus: we live in a world that is always on. When are you going to switch off? Do you ever switch off? Do you ever recharge?

Involvement:

Who and what really matters? Are you spending enough time and attention on them and what you truly want to do deep in your heart? Take action today to be with someone you truly love.

Momentum:

Even if you think now is not a good time to take it easy: it is. Yes, now you need that salary, now you are almost getting that promotion, blah blah blah. Because actually, there is never a perfect moment otherwise. So stop with those excuses and go not do it.