artikelen van

May-Britt Mobach

The number of narcissists in leadership positions is disproportionately high. Not surprising, since they’re driven, lack empathy (meaning they can make drastic decisions without feeling bad about it), and they have such big egos that people are often more likely to promote them. So the chances that you currently have — or have had — a narcissistic manager are quite high. I personally found the narcissism checklist for managers extremely eye-opening. 1. They charm you The narcissistic manager will do everything in their power to make you like them. A narcissist wants to be admired and is clever enough to win you over by being charming and investing time in you. But be careful — this can change at any moment. 2. You’re either with them or against them A narcissistic boss might pull you completely into their inner circle and share everything with you, but the moment you criticize them or disappoint them in some way, it’s likely game over. For the narcissist, there is no middle ground: you’re either a friend or an enemy, nothing in between. 3. Zero empathy If you ask to start work an hour later because your boyfriend just broke up with you, or if you can’t come in because your child has to go to the hospital, the narcissist won’t show any understanding. Empathy simply isn’t in their vocabulary. 4. Belittling and excluding people I once had a manager who made a harsh joke, and when someone pointed out that there was a woman — me — in the room, he replied, “A woman? I only see May-Britt, but I wouldn’t call her a woman.” And trust me, that wasn’t meant as a joke. If I had seen the checklist back then, I might have found comfort in thinking the poor man just had a disorder. Narcissists love to play divide and conquer. They’ll form cliques, favor certain people, and make others look foolish. 5. Never owning up to mistakes and stealing ideas Had a brilliant idea in a meeting? There’s a good chance your boss will present it the next day as if it was their own. The good things always come from them, and they never make mistakes — or at least they’ll never admit to them. They’ll twist everything around to avoid any blame. 6. Constant ego polishing Talking about their successes, casually flashing their Rolex, maybe even “accidentally” leaving their banking app open on their desk. Their ego barely fits in the room — and sometimes it’s so overwhelming that you need to open a window just to breathe.
By
Yesterday I wrote the big narcissism checklist to find out whether your manager is a narcissist. Chances are you scored bingo (at least, ticked all the boxes), because the concentration of narcissism is high among people in leadership positions. If you’re dealing with one, it’s important to handle the situation wisely. Or consider looking for another job, because my motto is: better a good boss than a good job. 1. Carry him/her on a pedestal Your narcissistic boss has an unquenchable thirst for compliments. Give them—but in a way that works in your favor. With a compliment, you might be able to subtly point out what’s missing in the process without making him or her feel attacked. Because criticism? A narcissist doesn’t take that well, and before you know it, you’ll be placed in Camp Enemy. 2. Take notes and document things in emails Because narcissists have a tendency to twist and bend the truth just a little, it’s wise to document important matters. So take notes and put things in writing via email. If ever—hopefully not—a lawsuit comes up, you’ll have collected evidence, and it won’t just be your word against theirs. 3. Bring someone with you If you’re having a meeting, make sure someone else is present. That way, you have an additional witness. Alternatively, you could record the conversation—though I understand that might make you feel uncomfortable. 4. Try to maintain distance Even though you’ll occasionally need to toss the narcissist some bite-sized compliments, you should otherwise keep them at arm’s length. Don’t share too much about your personal life, because that makes you vulnerable. The narcissist isn’t interested in you and will only use that personal information to manipulate you into doing what he or she wants. So be careful.
By
Not every parent wins the award for Best Parent Alive, but if one of your parents is a narcissist, life can be really tough. How can you tell if a parent is a narcissist? Well, ask yourself these questions: My father/mother shows no interest in my problems. My father/mother mostly sees me as something decorative—nice to show off, but I shouldn’t be difficult, complicated, or time-consuming. My father/mother often makes me feel like I’m not good enough. My father/mother often makes me feel that their happiness depends on my achievements. My father/mother often reminds me of all they’ve sacrificed for me. I immediately think of the scene in *The Morning Show*, where Jennifer Aniston tells her daughter she was completely torn during childbirth and that her daughter should be more grateful for it. Did you feel like you were never good enough? Did your father or mother have a special preference for one of the children? If you answered “yes” to many of these questions, it’s very possible that your father or mother is a narcissist. It’s important to set clear boundaries because narcissists tend to overstep them. But you always have the right to protect and maintain your own limits. I would recommend, in cases of narcissism, seeking guidance from a therapist who can help you navigate this process. The key thing to know is that you cannot change someone else—but you are fully capable of taking control of your own life from this point forward.
By
You’ve probably experienced it: you have problems with someone and keep struggling to figure out the cause. Until one day you Google “narcissism” and realize that person checks every single box. Or, in my case, nineteen out of twenty. I thought “my” narcissist didn’t lie, until I discovered that they could lie so convincingly that I didn’t even notice. Voilà: the über-narcissist. There are ways to recognize a narcissist. For example, they often use phrases like these:

"You’re too sensitive."

→ Narcissists often minimize other people’s feelings to justify their own behavior and make you doubt yourself (gaslighting).

"I’m the only one who truly understands you."

→ They create a sense of exclusivity to make you dependent and discredit others in your life. Narcissists also like to isolate you from loved ones so you become more dependent.

"I never said that."

→ This is a classic example of gaslighting: they twist the truth and make you question your own memories. Haven’t you also had a boss who asked for green in the morning, and when you brought green, casually said they meant purple?

"You make a problem out of everything."

→ Narcissists shift responsibility and make you appear to be at fault in every situation.

"Everyone thinks you’re overreacting."

→ They try to create peer pressure, even if it doesn’t exist, to make you feel small and insecure. And so the isolation continues: they make you doubt yourself about everything. Terrible.

"You can’t manage without me."

→ This is a form of manipulation to keep you dependent so you won’t leave them.

"You’re jealous of me."

→ Narcissists project their own insecurities onto others and twist situations to make themselves seem like the victim.

"I only did it because I love you."

→ This is often used to justify boundary-crossing behavior and maintain emotional control. Very, very dangerous. I can give you just one piece of advice: don’t walk, baby, run. Sources: WebMD.com, Healthline.com
By
Where can you recognize a female narcissist? Well, if you Google it for a bit, you can easily spend a few hours ticking off red flags. Been there, done that. And maybe you think: “Ah, a narcissist is just someone who looks in the mirror a little too often?” If only it were that simple. The female narcissist is often just a bit subtler, sneakier, and… well, nastier than her male counterpart. How do you spot her? Sit back, because I’m going to tell you everything.

1. She wraps criticism as a compliment

“Wow, great job on that presentation, I could never do that – especially without preparation.” If someone ever made a comment like that and you suddenly wondered whether you were being complimented or insulted: bingo. The female narcissist is a master of passive-aggressive remarks. She seemingly praises you, but plants doubt at the same time. She wants to be above you, but does it with a smile. Slick and sly.

2. Everything revolves around her (even on your birthday)

It doesn’t matter if it’s your birthday, your wedding, or you just got promoted: somehow, she always finds a way to turn it back to herself. “Oh, you went to Bali? Yes, I was there last year. But I stayed at the exclusive eco-resort, did you know it?” Female narcissists simply can’t resist putting themselves in the spotlight. In fact, if they aren’t the center of attention, they’ll just take it themselves.

3. She plays the perfect friend (until the mask falls)

At first, she is your best friend. She listens, empathizes, gives advice. But slowly, things shift. You notice you’re spending more and more energy on her problems, her jealousy, her dramas. The female narcissist can be incredibly charming – but only as long as it serves her. The moment you set boundaries or surpass her success, she turns cold, distant, or downright mean. And there you are, stuck with your loyalty and gullibility.

4. She uses her femininity as a weapon

It sounds cliché, but female narcissists know exactly how to use their looks and charm. Not only with men, but also with women. Through flattery, subtle touches, or a seductive glance, she manipulates those around her. But beware: it’s not genuine warmth; it’s a strategy. Today she kisses you on the cheek three times, tomorrow she stabs you in the back – and acts as if you deserved it.

What is narcissism, anyway?

Back to basics. Narcissism is a personality disorder where someone has an exaggerated sense of self-worth, shows little empathy, and constantly craves admiration. While male narcissists often display themselves openly, female narcissists are more covert: they manipulate subtly, play social games, and use emotional blackmail. The danger? They seem so charming, but all the while they drain you.

Differences between male and female narcissists

Although both types share the same narcissistic core, it often manifests differently. Male narcissists are usually direct, dominant, and showy. Female narcissists work more indirectly: they gossip, manipulate through others (triangulation), and use emotions as a power tool. Think Regina George from *Mean Girls*: behind the smile lies a ruthless strategy.

Famous female narcissists

Who fits in this category? Think characters like Cersei Lannister (*Game of Thrones*) or Amy Dunne (*Gone Girl*). In the real world, names sometimes mentioned are Madonna or Meghan Markle, though that’s always speculation. What they have in common: an irresistible mix of charm, ambition, and manipulation. You want to be around them – until you realize you’re just a pawn in their game.

Is narcissism dangerous?

The short answer? Yes. Especially because you often realize it too late. Female narcissists use their social skills to control their environment, which can be emotionally exhausting. They play the victim, twist stories, and turn people against each other. And if you try to leave? Usually an emotional revenge follows. Cut your losses, I’d say – and walk. Or better yet: run.

5 signs you’re dealing with a female narcissist

She constantly gossips but calls herself “honest” She subtly makes you insecure but calls it “feedback” Her friendship feels like an obligation You feel guilty when you do something for yourself She plays the victim when you set a boundary

Image: Netflix, Dynasty

By
Narcissism almost seems like a buzzword. We are all preoccupied with this rather elusive phenomenon. If you struggle for a long time with how to interpret someone and you finally do the narcissism check and can answer “yes” to all the questions, that can be so enlightening. Narcissism can occur in different professions, but it seems to appear more often in jobs where power, status, or attention play a major role. According to available information, the professions where narcissism occurs more frequently include: Politics: where power and influence are central. Education: where authority and knowledge can give power. Religion: where leadership and spiritual authority are important. Corporate management: where control over others and visible success matter. Medicine: where expertise and decision-making authority are present. Military: where hierarchy and command demand respect. Law enforcement: where authority and upholding the law are central. Show business and sports: where fame and achievements are celebrated. In addition, social media also seems to provide a platform where narcissistic traits can flourish, especially among people who strive for attention and validation through followers and likes. Well guys, there’s not much left. But don’t say we didn’t warn you.  

Image: Netflix ‘House of Cards’

By
Skiing, snowboarding, and après-ski: for many, the ultimate winter dream, but not everyone is cut out for a successful ski vacation. Some zodiac signs can easily adapt to the cold, the adrenaline, and the cozy vibes on the mountain, while others might be better off considering a vacation to the sun. Do you belong to the zodiac signs that should avoid a ski trip? Read on!

1. Taurus (April 20 – May 20) – Doesn't Like Risks

Tauruses love stability and comfort. While they can enjoy luxury chalets and wellness after skiing, the sport itself is often a no-go. Ski lifts, steep descents, and unexpected weather conditions make Taurus more stressed than excited. They also hate discomfort, and cold weather definitely falls under that category.

2. Cancer (June 21 – July 22) – Too Attached to Cozy Comfort

Cancer is a true homebody and sees a vacation as a chance to relax in a warm, cozy environment. The idea of shivering in ski pants, wet gloves, and blue toes makes them anything but happy. They are also prone to injuries and quickly feel lost in an unfamiliar, busy ski resort.

3. Libra (September 23 – October 22) – Doesn't Like Hassle

Libras love balance and harmony, but a ski vacation is the complete opposite. Carrying ski gear, long lines for lifts, and uncomfortable ski clothes go against their preference for elegance and effortless beauty. They’d rather spend a day at the spa than face icy slopes and bruises.

4. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) – Too Intense or Too Detached

Scorpios are either extremely enthusiastic or completely disinterested, and that’s not the best combination for skiing. Either they recklessly race down the steepest slopes, which leads to injuries, or they lose interest after half a day and retreat to the après-ski bar, staring mysteriously into their glass.

5. Pisces (February 19 – March 20) – Clumsy on the Slopes

Pisces are dreamers and can sometimes be a bit absent-minded — not ideal when you're descending on a busy slope. They get caught up in the beauty of the snow, forget their technique, and end up in the snow more often than they'd like. The crowd and chaos of a ski resort can also be overwhelming for this sensitive water sign. Which Zodiac Signs Should Go on a Ski Vacation? Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius feel right at home on the slopes. They love speed, challenges, and the adrenaline that skiing brings. Capricorns and Virgos take it seriously, applying their precision and discipline, while Geminis enjoy the social aspect of a ski vacation. So, do you recognize yourself or a friend in this list? Maybe it’s better to book a trip to the sun instead of a ski vacation!  

Image: @chloelecareux

By
Skiing, snowboarding, and après-ski: for many, the ultimate winter dream, but not everyone is cut out for a successful ski vacation. Some zodiac signs can easily adapt to the cold, the adrenaline, and the cozy vibes on the mountain, while others might be better off considering a vacation to the sun. Do you belong to the zodiac signs that should avoid a ski trip? Read on!

1. Taurus (April 20 – May 20) – Doesn't Like Risks

Tauruses love stability and comfort. While they can enjoy luxury chalets and wellness after skiing, the sport itself is often a no-go. Ski lifts, steep descents, and unexpected weather conditions make Taurus more stressed than excited. They also hate discomfort, and cold weather definitely falls under that category.

2. Cancer (June 21 – July 22) – Too Attached to Cozy Comfort

Cancer is a true homebody and sees a vacation as a chance to relax in a warm, cozy environment. The idea of shivering in ski pants, wet gloves, and blue toes makes them anything but happy. They are also prone to injuries and quickly feel lost in an unfamiliar, busy ski resort.

3. Libra (September 23 – October 22) – Doesn't Like Hassle

Libras love balance and harmony, but a ski vacation is the complete opposite. Carrying ski gear, long lines for lifts, and uncomfortable ski clothes go against their preference for elegance and effortless beauty. They’d rather spend a day at the spa than face icy slopes and bruises.

4. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) – Too Intense or Too Detached

Scorpios are either extremely enthusiastic or completely disinterested, and that’s not the best combination for skiing. Either they recklessly race down the steepest slopes, which leads to injuries, or they lose interest after half a day and retreat to the après-ski bar, staring mysteriously into their glass.

5. Pisces (February 19 – March 20) – Clumsy on the Slopes

Pisces are dreamers and can sometimes be a bit absent-minded — not ideal when you're descending on a busy slope. They get caught up in the beauty of the snow, forget their technique, and end up in the snow more often than they'd like. The crowd and chaos of a ski resort can also be overwhelming for this sensitive water sign. Which Zodiac Signs Should Go on a Ski Vacation? Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius feel right at home on the slopes. They love speed, challenges, and the adrenaline that skiing brings. Capricorns and Virgos take it seriously, applying their precision and discipline, while Geminis enjoy the social aspect of a ski vacation. So, do you recognize yourself or a friend in this list? Maybe it’s better to book a trip to the sun instead of a ski vacation!  

Image: @chloelecareux

By