Body & Mind

Chances are, your friend group has a narcissist in it. Do you know exactly who I mean, or not? Narcissists are known for their self-centeredness, need for admiration, and lack of empathy. Yet many narcissists are excellent at hiding these traits, especially in social situations. They use clever tricks to remain unnoticed and often even become well-liked within a group. So, it's highly likely that you won’t realize you’re dealing with a narcissist, whether in your family or friend circle. Strange, but true. So, what do they do? 1. They’re Charming Narcissists can be extremely charming and charismatic, especially when they’re in a new group. They know how to make a good first impression with their confidence and attractive appearance. They can be very persuasive, which helps them quickly earn respect and admiration from others. Because of this charming façade, people often think the narcissist is friendly and approachable, while their self-centered and manipulative side remains well-hidden. This makes it hard for others to see their true nature, especially at first. 2. They’re Very Nice They know exactly what to say and do to come across as understanding and compassionate. In reality, they use this 'empathy' as a way to bond with people and achieve their own goals. Narcissists may listen attentively and respond empathetically to someone’s problems, but their interest is often shallow and short-lived. 3. They Never Argue Narcissists have a strong need to be liked and will do anything to protect their image. Therefore, they often avoid confrontations and conflicts in group situations. They’re aware that standing out by arguing or acting aggressively can damage their carefully built reputation. 4. They’re a Victim, Never the Bully They don’t bully, and they’re not mean. They’re the victim. One of the most effective tricks narcissists use to stay unnoticed is playing the victim. They can present themselves as someone who has been wronged or mistreated, making others sympathize with them and not see them as a threat. 5. They Give Compliments Narcissists know how to flatter and compliment others to win their sympathy. However, they do this subtly so it doesn’t seem too obvious. For example, they may praise someone’s intelligence or talents, but always with an underlying intention to bind that person to them and gain control over them. So, it's not sincere. You see, they say it, but they don't mean a word of it. It’s something you’ll find hard to notice. So, watch out and pay attention to subtle things like this. Don’t let someone fool you too easily. You control how your life goes, in any relationship or friendship.
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narcist
You don’t need to be a psychologist to spot a narcissist. In fact, just take a look at the dinner table. Because narcissism and eating behavior often go hand in hand in striking ways. From the obsessive quinoa-eating fitfluencer to that one date who passive-aggressively comments that you sure do order lasagna often: these aren’t minor hints—they could point to a narcissist sitting across from you. And once you know what to look for, you’ll start seeing them everywhere.

Narcissism and Eating Behavior: The Perfect Duo

It might seem like an unexpected combo—narcissism and eating behavior—but it actually makes a lot of sense. A narcissist is obsessed with control, appearance, and how they come across to others. And what’s easier to control than what’s on your plate? No wonder research shows that many people with narcissistic traits also show signs of eating disorders. And no, that doesn’t mean everyone with a strict eating routine or a bit of vanity has a pathological issue. But pay attention to the pattern. Or better yet: the unpredictability of it.

From Quinoa to Croquettes: The Narcissist’s Eating Style Fluctuates

One of the most noticeable things about narcissism and eating behavior is fluctuation. One month, they’re only eating Instagram-worthy #cleaneating meals. Avocados, chia seeds, spirulina, and raw nuts are all carefully weighed before being placed atop low-fat yogurt. The next month, it’s takeout, snacks, and bingeing daily like it’s Christmas break. These shifts are especially common in what psychologists call vulnerable narcissists. These are people who may seem quieter on the outside, but internally crave validation. They use control over their body and food to feel better—until things spiral and the all-or-nothing pattern kicks in.

Narcissism at the Table: This Behavior Gives Them Away

It gets especially fascinating when the narcissist isn’t just obsessed with their own plate, but also wants to control what you’re eating. And trust me—they love to. Think of comments like: • “Are you really going to eat all that?” • “Pasta on a Tuesday, really?” • “Did you know bread is actually terrible for you?” Such remarks are rarely just well-intentioned. There’s usually something behind them: control, superiority, instilling shame in you. In short: subtle manipulations that make you more dependent on their judgment. Narcissism and eating behavior together create a performance in which you play the supporting role—until you catch on.

‘Feeding’ the Partner: Manipulation with a Bow on Top

Some narcissists are more subtle. They won’t snatch your plate or scold you outright, but they’ll feed you—literally and figuratively. They always order your favorite dessert, want you to “join them,” or suddenly start cooking for you every night. Sweet? Maybe. But beware: that “feeding” only turns toxic when it comes with comments about your body or behavior. “I made this just for you, so eat it.” “You used to eat everything I made—now you’ve changed.” “With your ex you probably didn’t have to eat salad either, huh?” What first seems loving becomes a negotiation with a hidden agenda. Say no once, and here comes the drama. And that says everything about the motive: not care, but control. There are also types who enjoy feeding you a few extra calories just so they can skip them themselves. Double win—you showed “weakness,” they showed strength.

De grote narcisme-checklist

Obsessively Healthy Eating: When Orthorexia Runs the Narcissist

Then there’s the ‘health freak’ category, those who seem to have everything under control. You know the type: they make you feel guilty for dipping your croissant into a cappuccino. According to a study on orthorexia nervosa (an obsession with healthy eating), people with narcissistic traits score higher on this eating disorder. It’s especially common among athletes and fitness fanatics: the body must be perfect, the diet spotless, the discipline ruthless. And those who deviate? They get a raised eyebrow in response. This form of narcissism and eating behavior isn’t always about controlling others, but about a hyper-controlled self-image. “Look how fit I am.” “Look how much willpower I have.” But if you look closely, you’ll see that perfection is often just a mask for deeper insecurity.

The Body as a Trophy: It Was Never Really About Food

With narcissists, it’s rarely truly about food. It’s about the message behind it. Food becomes a way to gain control, influence others, and boost self-image. Thin, healthy, and disciplined equals “better.” And anyone who gives in to a piece of cake? Clearly has something to explain. That’s what makes narcissism and eating behavior such a powerful—but toxic—combination. It seems harmless (“I’m just trying to be healthy”) but slowly makes you feel like you’re doing something wrong. And that’s exactly where the narcissist wants you. Two women look shocked at a man and are clearly displeased. Possibly mother and daughter; the mother has blonde hair and is wearing a black coat, the daughter has brown hair and is wearing a red dress

Recognize This? Then It’s Time to Pay Attention

Here’s a list of red (or croissant-colored) flags that may signal narcissism in eating behavior: • Extreme fluctuations between dieting and overeating • Frequent criticism of what you eat • Food used to induce guilt or demand gratitude • Obsessive focus on appearance, weight, and discipline • Feeling inferior or guilty because of comments at the table • Healthy eating feels like competition, not self-care

Food Should Connect, Not Be a Weapon

Don’t be fooled by surface-level health or “well-meaning” advice. When food becomes a tool for power, control, or guilt—it’s not a foodie you’re dining with, but someone projecting their insecurities onto your plate. So yes, narcissism and eating behavior are definitely linked. But the solution isn’t to play their game or adapt yourself. Stay close to what makes you feel good. And if someone can’t handle that? Then it was never really about the food.

Source: • Examining the Relationship Between Eating Disorders and Narcissism

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Narcisme en eetgedrag: zo herken je het aan tafel