Fun & Famous
KIKI’S EXPEDITIE ROBINSON-GEBRABBEL
Week 8
To start off: a round of applause for you all. Did you know that Amayzine EXPLODED last week after the chatter from week 7? The emails came flying in from all directions, over three thousand likes poured in, Farmer Bertie - whom I really think is the shit - even sent me a message to let me know she's a loyal fan and finds the chatter awesome every week. Or rather: ‘hilarious’. You understand: I can die peacefully. And actually, I should thank you for that, so here’s love/lovers/lobi/everything on this Friday morning.
And at many people's request, here’s a little overview of all the chatter so far. You can leisurely read back what kind of wacko shit has gone down on that island.
Here they come: week 1, week 2, week 3, week 4, week 5, week 6 and week 7.
Alright, now back to what it’s really about. Eating for your life and painful medieval shizzle during the merging dinner. At least, for eight candidates while there are still nine at that moment. There’s literally a musical chairs game where Suzanne can’t grab a stool and has to face off against Chloé in an endurance duel. Like two little piggies hanging on a spit, whoever hangs on the longest wins. All this while the rest goes wild on the food like a bunch of emaciated hyenas under the watchful eyes of Suzanne and Chloé. A bow to the sadistic creators of the show.
On loser island, chaos has also broken out, two out of four must leave and after a we’re-going-to-stand-on-a-pole-in-the-water-as-long-as-possible test, my friend Bartho (here’s room for a really ugly cry) has to leave the field. JayJay and Lex will face off next week in a test and that loser also has to go home. My heroine Bertie stays. By the way, it would be an insane program idea: Bertie Stays. That woman is so one with the island that no one would be surprised if she decides not to go home after the finale. RTL, if you pick up this idea, the invoice will absolutely come your way. Goddammit, this intro is getting way too long, let’s do what it’s about: babbling about the episode in 12 points.
1. So you take a bite of your Bounty, and you see a pair of bright blue eyes staring at you from somewhere in the coconut shavings. Dave, holy fuck, is that you? I know what my new favorite snack is going to be.
2. Just imagine: you finally arrive on your Asian dream island, you get that damn dinner after 14 days of swallowing air, and you get Conimex crap from a jar to eat. Oh shit, I even misnamed the brand that has shelled out thousands of euros for the very subtle sponsorship moment. I mean Go-Tan, of course. Enjoy wokking, guys, with Go-Tan.
3. The merging is brought to you by Babe. A.k.a. the dirty little pig.
Gad- damn, that beast looked disgusting.
4. KOOS, DID YOU REALLY ASK FOR DIET COKE?
5. Dio, I get that it’s tough, buddy, but don’t be so dramatic and wipe that sand off your face, man.
6. Did you all think waddafuck when Bartho Braat sang the GTST theme song wrong? Together: “Love leads you to the end…”
7. Lex, dude, how was it to gather all your strength and put that tough JayJay in his place? “I’m going to completely destroy you.” It came out of your mouth confidently, but honestly: that gave you a little sweat bead, huh, on that sweltering island? Go play, you little water lily.
8. Aaaaaah, my primal man Dave first chooses the weakened Dio and then himself. And then still arrives first at that table like a roaring lion. And then that sweet LITTLE HAMBURGER to Chloé. I’m telling you: I’m in love. If you’re not convinced yet, just read read this post and you’ll be sold, trust me.
9. I know, Chlo, that I made quite a few jokes about your eh, distinctive timbre, but secretly I was quite sad that you left.
10. Jalou will come out with the book: ‘Sugar is crying’ in a few months. Bet? It was just a little PR stunt, we get it…
11. “I see WINE man, I’m getting all emotional!” Dave, just a little Racoon moment your way: and every day I love you more, and more and more…
12. Next week: JayJay completely devours Lex and spits him out during the test, the sneaky almost went under this week, I genuinely see her going far. Being very understanding and shit, but in the meantime... Oh and An, can you explain to me how that works with those braids? I find it amazing. turns out to have smuggled brownies in her huge décolletage and Chloé is admitted to the hospital due to an overdose of McChicken. And rightly so. See ya next week!
